Beardo Beanie

Pattern:
(original numbers in parenthesis, Aaron's beard 1st number, "my" beard second number)

Cast on 60 {56} (40)
Row 1         Sl st pearl wise, *K1, P1* (til end of row)
Row 2         Sl st pearl wise, *K* (til end of row)

Row 3         Sl st pearl wise, *K1, P1* (til end of row)

Row 4         Repeat row 2 once more

Row 5         Repeat row 3 once more

Row 6         Sl st pearl wise, K22 {22}(20), Cast off 14; K23 {23}(21)

Row 7         Sl st pearl wise, *K1, P1* (rep 9 times for a total of 10 times). Cast on 14;

                       *K1, P1* (rep 9 times for a total of 10 times). K1.

Rows 8-15  Repeat rows 2 & 3 four more times

Row 16       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, *K* to last 3 stitches, K2tog, K1
Row 17, 19 Sl st pearl wise, P, *K1, P1* (to end) 

Row 18       Sl st pearl wise, *K*

Row 20       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, *K*, K2tog, K1 (decrease by 2)  

Row 21, 23 Sl st pearl wise, *K1, P1* (to end) 

Row 22       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, K2tog, *K*, K2tog, K2tog, K1  (Decrease by 4)   

Row 24       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, K2tog, K2tog, *K*, K2tog, K2tog, K2tog, K1  

                        (Decrease by 6 {4})

Row 25       Sl st pearl wise, P, *K1, P1* (to end)

Row 26       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, K2tog, *K*, K2tog, K2tog, K1  (Decrease by 4)

Row 27       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, P2tog, K2tog, *P1, K1*,  last 7 stitches: P2tog,

                        K2tog, P2tog, K1

Row 28       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, K2tog, K2tog, *K*,  last 7 stitches: K2tog, K2tog,

                        K2tog, K1

Row 29       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, P2tog, K2tog, *P1, K1*,  last 7 stitches: P2tog,

                        K2tog, P2tog, K1

Row 30       Sl st pearl wise, K2tog, K2tog, K2tog, *K*,  last 7 stitches: K2tog, K2tog,

                        K2tog, K1

Row 31       Knit whole row

Row 32       Cast off.

Pattern taken from http://usenetarticles.pocketbinaries.com/Garter-stitch-beard.htm

Another possible beard I haven't tried: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/short-beard